Upgrades

So I've been thinking a lot lately about work...life..  bionic upgrades I might splurge on if I don't win the mega jackpot until 2030. OK so mostly I've been thinking about the latter. Here's a quick rundown of my cyborg wish list...

Bladder expander

I make at least a dozen trips to the B-room a day. All that zipping, unzipping, hand washing, hand drying time adds up. Of course I don't where I'd store the expander because I'm a skinny guy with not much extra space. One option might be wearing a backpack with my expanded bladder, but then people would inevitably keep asking "What you got in there?". Maybe a better idea could be some enhanced liquid processing system where I could drink a ton but then it would evaporate (hopefully not leaving a smell).

Permanent Memory Storage

This one initially seemed like a great idea. Wouldn't we all like to remember everything that ever happened? Then I started worrying about sifting through all my job-related info when I'm trying to remember the tanning lotion with the highest SPF when I'm on vacation at the beach. Not ideal.  So I need some software to control what memories go in and go out. Or maybe removable drives? But that sounds way dangerous because then what if they get stolen? Or what if someone uploads a virus in an offline drive? I don't know maybe my current system of forgetting isn't that bad. At least its safe.

Aural Implants

OK this is really just a cool way of saying i want headphone embedded in my ears. But there's obvious dangers hear as well. Because my implants are embedded I need some wireless way of streaming sound to my ears, which may leave doors open to spam and advertising. Just imagine walking through the mall with your aural implants having a discussion with your wife on the phone when all the sudden ...

"ATTENTION SHOPPERS: MACY'S IS HAVING A ONE DAY SALE ON ALL BED AND BATH PRODUCTS"

You can't exactly rip embedded implants out of your ears. I mean there's have to be some volume control but what if that backfired. What if terrorists got you and found out about the implants? They might endlessly loop "Chocolate Rain" till my ears start bleeding and I divulge all our countries secrets.

So that's where I'm at for the time being. Most of my ideas sound good initially but have drawbacks. I'll have to think more about it later. What would you get if you could get a bionic implant?