Seven surefire ways to boost your Internet Speed!

1. Grease your internet cable.

2. Place your Computer tower below your network jack. This causes the bits to flow downward. That makes faster bits! (*Recommended for downloading only)

3. If your lucky enough to have wireless internet place a large fan behind your router facing the direction of your network. You'll surf faster and stay cool!

4. Add a spoiler to your router. Honestly i don't understand the physics behind this one, but it works!

5. Stream music from the Rocky soundtrack. The Rocky bits will help pump up the "loafer" bits that tend to loiter and congest the pipeline.

6. Stay away from sites with vulgar language, nudity and violence. This dirt builds up in your cables and can be a big slow down.

7. Walk your laptop in the directions of your downloads. If your not sure who's hosting the files. Call up the webmaster and ask him where he lives. He'll be more than happy to give out his address.